Friday, February 29, 2008

Second Case for "Smoke & Mirrors"



As a consequence of the recent "Toilet Break", Minister WKS's reputation has been taking a pounding with the public asking for his resignation. We at "Smoke & Mirrors" or "S&M" for short, have decided to take up his case to improve his public profile.

This is a summary of the facts: He is the Minister for Home Affairs. He said ""This should never have happened. I am sorry that it has." in Parliament.

What he did wrongly:

1) Don't apologise. Apologising is admitting guilt. He did nothing wrong. He wasn't the person who let the guy go to the toilet unattended. Also when you apologise, don't smile. Look sad and remorseful. If possible, cry c.f. Paris Hilton sentenced to prison.

2) Not reading the report clearly before making a statement. Whoever wrote his press release obviously ought to be shot. Is the guy or isn't the guy a threat? In times of crisis, use small words.

How to fix the matter:

1) Having a lot of soldiers standing around in close proximity to one another. This creates the impression of a lot of people protecting the area and increases the sense of security. People like to watch made up shows which are extravagant. C.f National Day Parade, NKF and other misc fundraisers.

2) If given an opportunity again in parliament, don't tell a joke. Cry, shed a tear. Crying wins the heart of people. Especially the older generation.

3) Be seen joining the search parties for said terrorist. It's the equivalent of kissing babies during an election year.

4) Sidenote: Learn to sing. Seriously.. It's not that hard. Do, Re, Mi... etc etc..

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