3rd Case: Jonathan Choy

Here at S&M, we don't just have big celebrity clients. We also care for the little guy. And today we showcase Jonathan Choy. After a certain blogging "incident" he was suspended/sacked from relief teaching. However, since he feels that he has a passion for teaching, we would like to clean up his image and reputation so that he can be a full time teacher in the future.

This is a summary of the facts:

He was doing relief teaching to a bunch of pri 3 students. While marking their composition, he found a few less than stellar ones and decided to post them on his blog to let his readers read it. He also said that "even scolding them has been fun".

What he did wrongly:

1) He put too much information about himself on the blog. Too traceable. He even had pictures. Too much disclosure is not a good thing. Only reveal what is necessary.

2) He didn't explain himself after all this occured. According to our sources, all he did was take down his blog and put 1 word sorry in it's place. http://www.better-thn-life.blogspot.com/

He also supposedly took down his friendster profile. If TV has taught us anything, people believe that people who go into hiding are obviously guilty.

How to fix the matter:

1) Come out and explain everything. For example the line that he said "even scolding them has been fun". Should say something along the lines of, "I understand that sometimes the kids get out of hand and have to be scolded." Have a press conference if possible. Or failing which, have an apology recorded and placed on Youtube. C.f. Edison Chen

2) Conclude by saying it was an "Honest Mistake". It's the buzz word these days. Like "-polis" and "hub". People will lap it up if you say it's an Honest Mistake.

To conclude, here's our re-enactment of how the press conference should be done.

P.s People like cake.

Second Case for "Smoke & Mirrors"

As a consequence of the recent "Toilet Break", Minister WKS's reputation has been taking a pounding with the public asking for his resignation. We at "Smoke & Mirrors" or "S&M" for short, have decided to take up his case to improve his public profile.

This is a summary of the facts: He is the Minister for Home Affairs. He said ""This should never have happened. I am sorry that it has." in Parliament.

What he did wrongly:

1) Don't apologise. Apologising is admitting guilt. He did nothing wrong. He wasn't the person who let the guy go to the toilet unattended. Also when you apologise, don't smile. Look sad and remorseful. If possible, cry c.f. Paris Hilton sentenced to prison.

2) Not reading the report clearly before making a statement. Whoever wrote his press release obviously ought to be shot. Is the guy or isn't the guy a threat? In times of crisis, use small words.

How to fix the matter:

1) Having a lot of soldiers standing around in close proximity to one another. This creates the impression of a lot of people protecting the area and increases the sense of security. People like to watch made up shows which are extravagant. C.f National Day Parade, NKF and other misc fundraisers.

2) If given an opportunity again in parliament, don't tell a joke. Cry, shed a tear. Crying wins the heart of people. Especially the older generation.

3) Be seen joining the search parties for said terrorist. It's the equivalent of kissing babies during an election year.

4) Sidenote: Learn to sing. Seriously.. It's not that hard. Do, Re, Mi... etc etc..

First Post

Decided to start up this blog in the light of the recent "Toilet Break" incident. Part of what "Smoke & Mirrors" does is to put the facts in a better light. Now for this incident, it really makes all parties look really really incompetent.

This is a summary of the facts : A man with a limp escaped when he went to the toilet in a maximum security prison. The news was only made known to the public after 4 hours.

Why does it make the people look incompetent:

1) He had a limp. He wasn't some fit strapping young buck who can like jump over high walls.

2) He went to the toilet presumeably on his own. Don't they watch any movies anymore? You never let the captive go unattended. If this was someone else like say Mr Chee, security would have been on him like white on rice. In the toilet? Bah, they probably hold him and unzip his pants when he goes to the gents.

3) News was only made known 4 hours later. Honestly, even with the picture being made known to the public now, how many people would recognise him? Well, some which is better than none. But by not letting people know, no one would bat an eyelid if they saw him on the road during the 4 hours where the authorities were clamping down on the area he escaped from. During the 4 hours, like one of my colleagues here at "Smoke & Mirrors" was saying, he can walk to the Causeway.

Putting a positive spin on things:

1) He did not have a limp. The terrorist leader was faking his limp as part of a clever ploy to fool his captors into a false sense of security. It was a cunning plan. Why, I know of stories of NSF (full time national servicemen) who have faked a limp for their 2 and a half years of service. If some unmotivated NSF can do it, I'm sure a motivated go-getter like Mas Selamat can as well.

2) They let him go unattended because they had information that there was a new JI cell forming in Singapore. So they let the fish go so as to catch the big fish. This, like the toilet escape plan, is a good ole favourite of B-grade movies. They planted some sort of tracking device inside his head. So even now, our swat teams are trying to find all the terrorists cells located in Singapore. Then arrest them all in one fell swoop. Pay raises all round. Why the need for the intense security then? To keep up the act of course.

3) Now the 4 hours lag is trickier. But still possible to spin. 4 hours is protocol. There was a need to comb the entire compound. Also to not have a false alarm and put the public into a state of panic. There's also a chain of command. And also 4 hours was obviously to let the suspect escape. No point implanting a tracking device into him if he's going to get caught. It was to allow him time to escape.

Now to wait for the endgame.